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The Healing Power Of Forgiveness
By Other Authors | November 19, 2007
We are blessed to live in a time when more and more options for wellness are available to us. Along with what we call “conventional medicine”, we have alternatives such as chiropractics, acupuncture, reiki, yoga and homeopathic options. More and more MDs are utilizing combinations of both conventional and alternative medicine, making it easier to not only get well, but stay well. THIS is a beautiful thing!
Recently, having had the challenge of a severe physical malady to contend with, and being a person who believes (and practices) alternative medicine, I had the frightening realization that this time I might have to consult with an MD as nothing else was working. I shall spare you the details of the malady as I feel it has little (or no) bearing on the end result. In any event, after exhausting all alternative options (and pretty much my bank account) I decided it was time for me to open my mind and consider going to a doctor to see what they had to say about it. The moment I was given their diagnosis, I knew it was incorrect and was left feeling disappointed, irritated and running low on hope. What to do now?
After several conversations with people close to me, there were a few things that kept coming up over and over. One was that whatever it was that was causing the pain in my body was a direct result of an imbalance, not only in my physical being, but also in my spirit. In other words, the physical manifestations were a RESULT of what was going on at a much deeper level. Of course, I knew instinctively that these observations were correct. I’ve always believed that “dis-ease” is just that: a body NOT at ease with one’s spirit. The question was WHAT was my imbalance? What had I ignored that had resulted in such an intense physical manifestation?
The next thing that was presented was the idea of FORGIVENESS. Over and over these people who know me, love me and have been in my “tribe” for a long, long time kept saying things like, “You must forgive. You must forgive all those who may have hurt you in the past and, most importantly, you MUST forgive your SELF.” Another truth that resonated with me so fully that there was no way I could ignore it any. Again, another question arose: What am I NOT forgiving in myself? How is it that this is so deeply rooted that I am unable to see it?
So began my quest. I was determined to investigate this thing called forgiveness and find what it was I was either refusing or unable to see. I was absolutely certain that if I could identify this thing I would be on a path to wellness and get my life back. Easy to say. Not so much “do”. The journey I began at that point was to be filled with many moments of confusion, anger, despair and complete surrender. There were days when I couldn’t even get out of bed, the pain was so intense. I would lie there in a fetal position, aching and sobbing and praying for mercy. I even had a few moments when I really thought I was going to die from the pain (or wished that I would). For someone with my spirit, this was as shocking as it was terrifying. But somehow, with the loving help of my tribe, I managed to get through those moments and live to see another day. Some days were certainly better than others, but the overall experience was one of excruciating pain and paralyzing fear that I wouldn’t make it through.
Slowly, with fierce determination, I began to practice quiet meditations, asking for guidance to see what I was not seeing and to be shown the way to forgive myself. I honestly didn’t know HOW to forgive myself, as I didn’t know what TO forgive. I couldn’t seem to identify it. I gathered up all my journals and read them to see if perhaps there might be some clues. I looked at photos, trying to locate whatever it was that I was holding myself hostage over. I did a LOT of praying!
And then, without really realizing what was happening, I came to the conclusion that “identifying” this thing was not the issue. It didn’t matter at all WHAT I was forgiving myself for, all that mattered was that I did. You know that expression “forgive and forget”? Well, apparently I’d done it in reverse. I’d forgotten whatever it was but had failed to forgive. So I began a little exercise that turned out to be quite a remarkable tool. I would stand in front of a mirror every day, and look into the eyes of the person staring back. I would say over and over, “I love you. I forgive you. I’m so sorry I hurt you.” And even though, when I began doing this the words were hollow and without emotion, I began to notice that after a very short time they were actually touching me. I would do this exercise for 5 minutes and by the time I finished, I’d have tears in my eyes and could actually FEEL what I was saying to my Self. It was kind of weird. But it worked!
I offer this very personal experience to you now because it completely transformed my life. I am no longer the angry, defensive person I once was. I am much more kind, patient and tolerant of myself and of other people. I have all but eliminated the criticism that was once so prevalent in my life. I have come to terms with who I am and have actually fallen in love with this person. It’s a strange place to be, considering where I was before all this happened. But I am utterly grateful for having had the experience. When people tell you that it took nearly dying to learn how to live, they’re tellling you the truth. Even though my “condition” was not life-threatening in the literal sense, it WAS life transforming. The butterfly has emerged. Forgiveness was the key. And it is my greatest hope that you will find truth in my story and use it to forgive yourself every single day. Do it NOW before YOUR body responds to the emotional toxins. Living in forgiveness is a miracle elixir. Take it while you can!
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Camille Olivia Strate is an author, entrepreneur and critter-keeper who lives by the mantra “Joy is a choice. Choose Joy!” She enjoys sharing her life experiences to help other folks enhance their own lives, and believes strongly in Paying It Forward. She is also on a mission to find the perfect pasture to accomodate all the pretty horses in need of rescue. Her latest book, “Whispers” is expected to be available in the Spring of 2008. www.genuineintentions.com
Article Source: Other Authors
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