Jan 28 2008
7 Keys To Profound Happiness
These days my happiness quotient feels like it’s sailing off the charts. Maybe it seems I’m always rather cheerful. Trust me, I’ve ridden my share of emotional roller coasters. I’ve prided myself in being “very human,” which — in my mind — meant feeling every human emotion. But, maybe my husband is right. Maybe HAPPINESS IS the default state. Maybe if all resistance is simply removed from life, happiness naturally emerges. Somehow, it seems to be flowing steadily into my life.
So why AM I so deliriously happy? Great question. This is the very question I was asking myself last week. What is different? There are several distinct elements which have come together. I imagine if you focused on these elements…you’d be deliriously happy too.
1. Weekly Check-ups. For my Success and Inner Peace Bootcamps, I recently created a weekly preparation form, supporting participants to integrate key elements of the program. Participants share progress toward top goals, and elements relating to “inner peace.” After seeing participants share for several weeks, I committed to completing the form too… and now send it to the group each week.
There is something profound about reporting your life to another, whether to a coach or group. This is where the happiness started to swell for me.
Some of my favorite questions on the Bootcamp Prep Form include:
* What has contributed to my sense of “inner peace” over the last week?
* What “inner peace culprits” interrupted my connection? How could I eliminate this “inner peace culprit?”
* How have I responded to Spirit over the last week?
* What new distinctions, realizations or insights have occurred to me over the past week?
* Where is my next opportunity for a breakthrough? (i.e. shifting a limiting belief, etc.)
2. Daily Gratitude. This isn’t a new concept. However, putting it CONSISTENTLY into practice IS new, at least for me.
At the Mega-Book Marketing conference in March, I heard Jack Canfield speak about the “gratitude rituals” of featured speakers in The Secret. Apparently, each morning before Rhonda Byrne gets out of bed, she connects with feelings of “gratitude” until a tear comes to her eye. When James Ray gets out of bed in the morning, as his right foot touches the floor, he says “thank.” As his left foot touches the floor, he says, “you.” And, all the way to the bathroom, he says, “thank,” “you,” “thank,” “you”, “thank,” “you”. Jack writes several “gratitudes” in his journal each morning before he gets up. I also know Oprah has been flexing the “gratitude” muscle for years. She writes down at least five things she’s grateful for at the end of each day. Hmmmm.
In my book, The Power of Inner Choice, and in my Bootcamps, I talk about the importance of keeping your energy vibration high. One of the most effective is through “daily gratitude.” I haven’t always been consistent. But, I got inspired. And, the Bootcamp Prep Form asks, “What Daily Ritual(s) did I thoroughly enjoy this past week? And, “What Daily Ritual would I like to give special attention to over the coming week?”
At the end of EACH day, I go to a Word document in my computer called “Gratitudes.doc” I type in my “gratitudes,” which for me, also includes the big and little successes of the day. Completing the day on a high note of appreciation is amazing. And, it’s much harder to forget the good stuff pouring in when you’re writing it down each day. The compounding effect of this simple choice each day has contributed significantly to my happiness. And, it seems to be attracting more and more items to include on my ever-expanding gratitude list.
If you like to journal, you may want to pick up the 365 Days of Gratitude journal by Sherrie Austin. On her website you may also sign-up for a “daily dose of gratitude”. (She’s also a Bootcamp participant!)
3. Focus on your STRENGTHS. One of my coaches Ken Abrams, MCC, was raving about Marcus Buckingham’s latest book “Go Put Your Strengths To Work.” Next to this book was “Strengths Finder 2.0″ I bought both. Like many people, I’ve put A LOT of attention on my areas for improvement, and glossed over the strengths. Wouldn’t it be egocentric to focus on your strengths? As silly as it sounds, it didn’t seem obvious to me what my “strengths” were. Thank goodness for Strengths Finder 2.0. Seriously.
At the back of Strengths Finder 2.0 is a code, allowing you to take an assessment online. There are 34 strength categories; they call “themes.” The test reveals your top five themes. It turns out my top five strength categories are:
1) Connectedness. Hopefully, you feel my authentic “warm and fuzzies” beaming at you through this email. Those with “connectedness” as a strength have faith in the links between all things. We believe there are few coincidences and that almost every event has a reason.
2) Input. This means I like to take in and archive LOTS of information and input. That fits. I love gathering mass amounts of information to empower and enlighten. I love hearing about people’s lives. And, ask my husband, I love “talky-talk” time.
3) Futuristic. As much as I teach “living in the present,” I am inspired by the future, and love to inspire others with their visions of the future.
4) Relator. Hmmm. This one fit too. Those with the Relator theme enjoy close relationships, and find deep satisfaction in working hard with friends (or clients) to achieve a goal.
5) Ideation. I never recognized myself as a big idea person; although it’s true…I’m fascinated by ideas. (Look at me go on strengths!). Our strength is finding connections between seemingly disparate phenomena. And, I guess creating my new program “Conversations with the Masters of Coaching” reflects that strength.
I’ve found, focusing on strengths allows me to own them on a deeper level. Life feels easier. I feel even more authentic. It’s certainly one of the key elements which has boosted my happiness factor. Funny how we can resist our strengths. I’m also recognizing and owning other strengths (why own just five?).
4. Grounding in Stillness. A few weeks ago, my husband and I attended Adyashanti’s Five Day Silent Meditation Retreat. I’ve NEVER been a big meditator. It’s actually been my intention to meditate as a “daily ritual” — for well over a decade. However, spending five full days in silence with Adyashanti is a great way to kick-start a meditation practice. It was for me.
There were six 30-40 minute meditations and two satsangs each day. At the satsangs, Adya spoke, and then answered questions from the group. The focus was simply to relax into the silence and stillness, without resisting any thoughts. Since my life is typically rather intense, I was ecstatic to turn my brain off for several days. I left in a rather dreamy, peaceful state.
Once home, impulses would call me to meditate, which was a bit surprising at first. However, I’ve come to realize that “grounding in silence” is one of my keys to happiness.
Several days after the retreat, I was on a training call where I was inundated with information. I got off the call, and instantly wanted to go meditate. But, I didn’t. I continued to work and work through the end of the day. Finally, before going for a walk with my husband, I said, “I must meditate first.” Fifteen minutes of silence and stillness, and my profound happiness returned. Now when I finish a long series of coaching calls or hop off of an intense training, I claim 10-20 minutes of silence. From this “connected space,” happiness naturally emerges.
5. Honor Your Spirit’s Guidance. How have I responded to Spirit over the last week? Being attuned to my “inner voice” AND responding to it is another key to profound happiness for me. By honoring our “inner guidance” consistently, a natural rhythm emerges. My intellect believes it knows what my best path is. However, the “real me” knows better. I’ve learned to listen for it, trust it, and respond accordingly. My recent website launch, new Conversations with the Masters of Coaching, inspiration to take the Strengths Finder 2.0 assessment, and impulses to meditate are all a result of honoring my Spirit’s Guidance.
By the way, it’s easier to recognize this voice when your grounded in gratitude, stillness, your strengths, and you report in once a week about “How you’ve been honoring your Spirit.”
6. Intention. I remember reacting to my husband early in our relationship. I was upset. “You want me to be happy ALL the time! You want me to be like Elizabeth.” (Elizabeth is the friend who introduced us, and she seems happy all of the time).” In my mind, this wasn’t realistic. My reality was ups and downs. How could he expect me to be happy ALL the time?
Fortunately, I investigated this assumption more objectively. Hmmmm. “John wants me to be happy all the time.” That’s rather sweet. If I’m not all busy reacting to this thought “He wants me to be happy all the time,” maybe I would appreciate that he cares about my happiness. I turned the statement around,
“I want me to be happy all the time.” At the core of my being, this IS true. I hadn’t really thought about this possibility. Somehow, this idea stuck in my subconscious mind. An intention was born.
I actually forgot about this mini-realization until I began writing this article. Just creating the possibility of “being happy all the time” sets intention in motion.
7. And EVERYTHING. I could go on and on about other elements contributing to my happiness (but this is getting a bit long!). When you’re profoundly happy, it seems that EVERYTHING is adding to it. Some of the other biggies include laughter, living squarely in the present moment, aligning with reality (however it unfolds), being silly, snuggling on the couch, watching sunsets, daily walks, reading inspiring books, staying at choice and being surrounded by people you love.
One of the biggest bonuses of being profoundly happy is seeing the look on my husband’s face as he witnesses my happiness. I’m not faking it. Nor am I “trying” to be happy to please him. It’s the natural result of intention + responding to spirit + grounding in stillness + focusing on strengths + gratitude + weekly check-ins. It’s the natural result of dropping all resistance to life.
Maybe next month will be different. But, for now I wouldn’t trade any of these elements from my life. Maybe they’ll work for you too. Enjoy!
