Tag Archive 'forgiveness'

Nov 18 2008

Profile Image of Cheryl Petersen
Cheryl Petersen

Holiday Expectations

Imaginations can get tense during the holidays. Expectations wrestle in our minds and lives. Holiday traditions are jammed into already busy days. Instant gratification turns into regret. Debts are accumulated. Or sometimes, the imagination just shuts down and we slog through the holidays doing what other people are expecting of us. What if this season, a spiritual expectation can improve our experience?

A spiritual expectation is different from a worldly expectation. Spiritual expectations equal a productive developing consciousness. Worldly expectations are analogous to a frenzied or idle consciousness that can’t get out of itself. For example, if we expect a holiday party to give us joy, joy has just been reduced to time/space, excluding joy from many areas of our life. And, where is joy for those who weren’t invited to the party? What happens to joy if we get sick and cannot attend the party? How reliable is joy when we go to the party and have fun, but return home to dirty dishes?

Spiritual expectations are linked to that which is greater. If we expect joy from the sheer fact we radiate joy, we can be joyful whether we are getting ready for a holiday party or not. Aligning our thoughts with the metaphysical fact that joy precedes us—joy is found for others, is found now, at a party, and when we come home to dirty dishes.

Along with joy, spiritual expectations do not depend on any human event, season, or tradition. Admittedly, the holidays can be a grand time however that grandness can extend throughout the year when emanating from unconditional hopes. It is intriguing to improve our holiday season experience and then continue to feel the holiday spirit year round. However, this requires breaking away from the familiar, from the common beliefs of what we have trained ourselves to think about the holidays.

From 21st Century Science and Health the first English revision of Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health, we read, “The human mind is educated into selfish and sensualistic thinking as it constantly repeats the same thoughts to its self. If we are always talking about the body or persistently anticipating bodily pleasures (or even nervously expecting pain), we are being skillfully trained in the unspiritual. This education is at the expense of spiritual development.” Likewise, if we constantly expect temporary enjoyment, or even stress, during the holidays, our spiritual development is neglected.

Many people review their holiday experiences and strive to eliminate worldly expectations by improving their habits and rituals. Less time and money are wasted. More forgiveness and philanthropy is expressed. And, their happiness and security become more stable. A confidence is built up—a confidence that love and joy is found within consciousness, not in a particular holiday or gift or food.

Expectations can be powerful. What we are hoping is generally where our head and heart are being directed. Instead of expecting the holidays to bring good-will, peace, and joy, realize and act on the fact that good-will, peace, and joy will bring a beautiful holiday experience all year round.

Resource Box:

Cheryl Petersen’s book 21st Century Science and Health is the first English revision and update of Mary Baker Eddy’s Science and Health written in 1875. This book discusses spirituality and healing as found in Scriptures. It is available online at http://www.HealingScienceToday.com

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Aug 19 2008

Profile Image of Rosella Aranda
Rosella Aranda

What Forgiveness Is Not

Filed under Healing & Forgiveness

Is a grudge-laden heart sabotaging your success in business and in life?

Much has been written over the ages about the value of forgiveness. And yet so many people continue to resist the idea of forgiving their transgressors. Why is this?

I believe there are a couple of factors at play.

First, although people might want to forgive, they don’t want the culprit to “get off scot-free.”

Let’s examine this more closely. There are many misconceptions about forgiveness, so I would like to point out what forgiveness does NOT do. (We shall refer to the transgressor as X.)

~ Forgiveness does NOT condone the actions of your perpetrator X. ~

By forgiving X, you are not saying that what X did was okay. You’re just willing to quit stewing about it. Chances are, it wasn’t okay, but there’s not much you can do to change history. It happened, it’s over, get over it. Don’t let it ruin your peace of mind a moment longer.

~ Forgiveness does NOT diminish the severity of the transgression. ~

By forgiving X, you are not saying that the harm he caused you was of no consequence. Indeed, you may still be dealing with the negative results of his actions. But by being willing to forgive X, you are allowing yourself to quit wasting precious energy on anger and put it to good use building yourself up instead. You survived the transgression. Now it’s time for you to thrive.

~ Forgiveness does NOT absolve X of his guilt. ~

Even if you were willing to, you could not clear X’s conscience for him. He will have to appeal to a higher celestial court for absolution. That is between X and his conscience; it is not your affair.

So you see, forgiveness does not let the other guy off the hook. It lets YOU off the hook.

By refusing to forgive the other person, you are condemning yourself to being stuck. And this “being stuck” tends to infiltrate and poison every area of one’s life. It’s a bit like trying to drive your car with the brakes on.

Consider forgiveness as a gift you give to yourself.

Now let’s look at another nearly opposite reaction. Some people are quick to claim blanket forgiveness for everyone and everything, without even knowing what it is they are pardoning.

This is a fine gesture, but it is hardly effective. Why? Because you cannot forgive a transgression which has never been acknowledged.

You can’t just leapfrog over all the buried pain and expect relief. You must first acknowledge the harm that was done.

The acknowledgement consists of:

* Admitting the harmful nature of what was done to you.
* Feeling the pain that you’ve struggled unconsciously for years to keep down.
* Expressing the anger that accompanies these realizations (by writing, exercising, beating a pillow, wailing, thrashing about, etc.)
* Mourning your loss. (Sadness, unlike depression, is a healing force and it will pass.)
* Forgiving your transgressor.
* Experiencing a new vitality as you reclaim formerly disowned parts of your being.

Important: You don’t need to confront anyone or involve anyone else in this process. This is done in privacy and purely for your own release and relief.

Some people try to dismiss the need for this process by saying such things as, “Well, it doesn’t matter now. That was so long ago.” Or maybe, “Things were different back in the old country. None of that makes any difference anymore.”

When dealing with profound harm sustained in the past, we need to be aware of the inconsequential nature of distance and time. In other words, a serious emotional injury sustained long ago and maybe even far away does NOT just wither away into nothingness if you ignore it.

The damage is very real and it has serious ongoing repercussions if it is not squarely faced and dealt with. People fear that acknowledging great harm done will unleash hateful and violent acts. Quite the contrary. It is these “unconscious grudges” that we carry in our hearts that result in cruelty. Often this escapes our conscious awareness.

It is also these unacknowledged wounds, waiting like frightened children at the “Lost and Found” that result in depression.

It takes tremendous psychic energy to keep stuffing those strong, raw emotions down and keep them in check, especially when we’re not even aware of exactly what it is we are hiding from!

I would like to stress once again, suppressed pain and stifled anger will not go away just because you ignore them. They will dissipate only in the face of acknowledgement.

By following the steps outlined above, you will naturally arrive at a place where you are ready to exercise forgiveness. You will have reached a place where you are sick and tired of wasting mental and psychic energy on nursing painful grudges.

You will no longer wish to tolerate any nasty pangs of resentment. It will become unacceptable to send your thoughts into a mental sewer just so that you can keep your offender in his place.

An act of pardon will evolve naturally as we honor our true feelings. This does not mean that we have to go and broadcast what we find to the world. It simply means that we ourselves have to be willing to look at and see the Truth.

As a parting note, let us strive to remember that forgiveness is not a self-righteous act of virtue or altruism. It is not cause for arrogance or fanfare or a holier-than-thou attitude.

The decision to forgive is supremely practical and self-affirming. Self-affirmation is what people need most. And only we can do this for ourselves.

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Jul 03 2008

Profile Image of Ton Pascal
Ton Pascal

The Law of Attraction at Work

Filed under Law of Attraction

What is this Law of Attraction?

You can check Carl Jung’s classic Memories, Dreams, Reflections for his view, but most contemporary psychologists agree that this magnificent power is transmuted into small things; day-to-day behavior, manners, the choices that we make in the ordinariness of daily human life.

This substance, force, or power is very likely a part, a very small part, of a larger enigma, inscrutable as it ever was.

The psycho-chemical organization of the simplest cell is far beyond our capacity to understand, even at our most advanced scientific labs.

How it is made, where it comes from, I will leave for someone else to answer.

What I know as a belief and from my own experiences is that this power exists and it is within you.

“We are not human beings going through a temporary spiritual experience.

We are spiritual beings going through a temporary human experience.”

I got this quote from a friend who didn’t know where it comes from either, but I feel that it illustrate so well the point I try to make on Dream Your Life Positively.

Each one of us have a point of view, an easier way to better his life. And it differs from person to person.

If you consider the time it took for this universe to form, this planet to spring up life, and men’s precarious and recent evolution, our life is very short.

My formula is very simple:

Think positively,

Break the rules,

Forgive quickly,

Kiss slowly,

Love truly,

Laugh uncontrollably,

And never regret anything that made you smile.

Napoleon Hill said, “a goal is a dream with a deadline.”

Start by training your mind to send out only messages of positive energy.

Do it as you take a shower, go for a walk or go to work, while you take a break or while you’re busy doing a task!

It will strengthen your daily self-improvement and will bring a new joy and sense to your life.

You will see the results immediately afterwards.

Acknowledge them, give yourself a pat in the back; yes, I am good.

Yes, I am successful.

But, be careful of what you think about! for example, have you thoughts ever begun with the following phrases:
I don’t understand…
I don’t want…
I don’t like…
I hate my…
I can’t figure out …
I’m stressed about…
I’m worried that…
I should be able to… but I can’t…

The Law of Attraction brings about what you focus on even if it is not what you want.

Get it?

What you show outwardly is what you are inside.

You want to be happy!

You want to be successful!

You want to be wealthy!

There is nothing religious about it, and no religion that is good for you should tell you that you cannot have it all.

You are stardust.

You are a fragment of God.

You hold the answer, and it has always been with you.

If you understand this principle, you know how to make the law of attraction work to support you rather than to act against you.

Have a wonderful journey

Ton Pascal

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