Tag Archive 'dating'

May 16 2008

Profile Image of Cheryl Petersen
Cheryl Petersen

Attracting the Significant Other

Filed under Love

Millions of people are apparently seeking a significant other. I read that online dating is very much in style. If you are one such seeker, I hope your search is due to positive reasoning. Coming from someone who has been married to the same man since 1983, I can guarantee you that loneliness will not disappear, self-esteem will not increase, and happiness will not be attained because you have a partner. In other words: Put effort into being happy, self-respectful, and a significant companion. When you are a significant other, a significant partner for a relationship that lasts through the monotony and pandemonium of this human world is attracted to you.

There is an order to everything meaningful, including relationships. Not that a tile floor is as meaningful as a relationship, but if I wanted a tile floor, I first need to prepare the floor with a proper backing, then ready the tiles, apply adhesive, and carefully set the tiles in place. This order involves preparation, foresight, and a willingness to work calmly.

Preparing oneself for a significant other requires you to be a significant other. Do not assume that what you want out of a relationship is what your mate wants. Not to be too brash, but if you would like intimacy from your significant other, be aware that your companion may desire someone they can read out loud a good book with. Will you read out loud with tenderness, patience and satisfaction?

One of you may need encouragement in a new career direction. One of you may need the other to have a great sense of humor. One of you may need the garbage hauled away without being asked. What do you have to offer? The idea of offering is significant. Have a little foresight; be aware of what you have to offer as the significant other for someone else.

It is backward; it is laying the tile before the adhesive, to seek another person from the standpoint they will fill a void. People don’t necessarily fill someone else’s void, more so people love one another so a void doesn’t materialize. The adhesive for a strong relationship is being a dependable friend, being respectful, and happy. These spiritual qualities must be found within both of you, even in a degree, before a relationship can be solid. Your real attractiveness is your ability to love, laugh, be faithful, learn and act on something new each day. This is no simple task. My husband and I know how demanding it can be, to be the significant other. We need to continue to calmly practice it each day.

Now comes the oxymoron. Don’t attempt to be the significant other too much. No one person is more important than the other in a relationship. If a partner has a prominent title or high ranking position, penetrate this temporal façade, do not become a servant to it, do not rely on it. This goes for both individuals. It is right to support a partner, but no one should neglect advancing their own significance to help in this world.

When considering a relationship, remember too, there is nothing wrong with what we call a physical attraction, wellbeing, or a steady financial situation, but these change. Attractive physical circumstances are short-term and often create an agitation that distracts our inherent ability to be better companions each day. Partners work together on a long-term basis when both are honest and spiritually courageous.

Being a significant other is attractive. It begins simply. An excellent starting point is to offer your friendship, respect, and happiness to siblings, the grocery clerk, co-workers, and neighbors. As your attractiveness is kept pure, without tempting gross self-gratification, you will develop an awareness that naturally attracts the like-minded.

Every individual has a place in history and significance. It is very possible to make a positive impact; to be constructive and encouraging. Think about your contribution to our world, improve on it, love it and feel your fullness, whether you are single or have a partner. Be the significant other.

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Dec 06 2007

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Other Authors

Using The Law Of Attraction In Dating

Filed under Law of Attraction, Love

The circumstances in your lives seem to happen by chance. You may blame your single status and dating bad luck on others and good experiences on random fate. The Law of Attraction states that your life experience is a direct result of your thinking. In order to change those ideas to attract the love you want, you must change the pattern of thought on the subconscious level. Understanding the power of the subconscious is the key to attracting the love of your life.

Imagine the conscious mind as a driver and the subconscious as a car. The driver of the car cannot go anywhere without the support of the engine, wheels and fuel. When a car breaks down, you look under the hood to see what needs to be fixed. If you want love but cannot seem to attract a good relationship, you should look within for a block in the subconscious. When you constantly arrive at an unplanned destination, it is like being asleep at the wheel as the subconscious operates on autopilot. The best way to stay in control of your dating life is to change the habitual thinking that led to your past pattern of bad relationships.

The subconscious is a giant database of all of your experiences and memories since conception. It holds the information on how to walk and talk, as well as beliefs that fire is hot and ice cream tastes good. This database contains all of your memories, habits, emotional responses, and opinions. All life events are neutral. You give meaning to the events that ultimately shape your experience. We formed basic beliefs early on that are reinforced throughout life. All humans have a unique blueprint in their subconscious. Just like a magnet, your individual blueprint attracts everything you experience, including every relationship.

As your mind begins to mature around eight years old, you form the critical mind to help filter out what you believe and do not believe. The critical mind serves as a gatekeeper between the conscious and subconscious mind. This is the chatterbox you hear all day long. These chattering thoughts judge and analyze your world, as it feeds past ideas from the subconscious up to your conscious mind. The gateway also prevents new ideas from entering the subconscious if they are incompatible with the established belief system.

Have you ever known a woman with low self-esteem when it comes to dating? She may be attractive and intelligent, but her subconscious may be running a program that she is not wanted. This false inner belief acts like a magnet, attracting suitors that reinforce that idea. She will be drawn to men that treat her poorly, and reject nicer men that pursue her. She may not realize why she repeats the same pattern, because it lies beneath her conscious awareness. She could have decided that she was not wanted when she was picked last on the kickball team in first grade or even as early as conception when the pregnancy was not planned. An emotional experience created the initial program, “I am not wanted,” and subsequent events reinforced the idea throughout her life. Unless she uncovers and alters this program, the same circumstances will be drawn to her in the future.

Self-hypnosis uses the altered state or trance that relaxes the chatter mind, so that subconscious patterns can be reprogrammed in alignment with your conscious will. This experience is similar to watching television or listening to music. Affirmations are typically not effective because the critical mind is constantly rejecting new ideas. You can change subconscious programming by using self-hypnosis audio programs, or simply by focusing on positive ideas as you drift off to slumber every night. Listening to self-hypnosis programs daily for at least 30 days can reprogram your habitual thinking and change your internal magnet. Most clients who used my Attract the Love of Your Life CD met their man within 30-90 days. If you are ready for love, this is the easiest and fastest way to change those patterns.

Your life has been fueled by the quality of thoughts held in the subconscious. As you adjust inner programming, the things you want in life are naturally attracted to you. You will become irresistible to men, feel more confident in social settings and have a more relaxed, joyful presence. Change your internal magnet to thoughts of abundance, self-love and joy, and you will experience the world in a new way.

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Debra Berndt, Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist, Dating/Relationship Expert, Author, Speaker, Dating Coach and creator of AttractLoveToday.com. Berndt’s online self-hypnosis store is the fastest growing provider of self-hypnosis products. Debra has appeared internationally on radio and television promoting the power of the subconscious and self-hypnosis to attract true love.

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Oct 12 2007

Profile Image of Dwayne Gilbert
Dwayne Gilbert

Attracting The Love Of Your Life Part 1

Filed under Life, Love

If you’re like every other person out there, the biggest thing you want in your life is someone to love you, and for you to give your love to in return. Some of you may even want the person of your dreams instead of the person you have now. There is nothing wrong with that. So if the love of a lifetime is what everyone truly wants, why is it that so few people find it? Well, there are a couple of reasons.

Below is a list of reasons why most people never realize the love of their life.

1. They don’t love themselves. I know that so many people say this, yet I am amazed at how few really understand what it means. It really is fairly simple. It means learning to be ok with the person you are right now, in this very moment. Learning to be proud of who you have become. Learning to appreciate yourself, as you are, perfectly, in this moment. Knowing you have flaws and being ok with that. Knowing you have things to work on, and being ok with that also. If you don’t learn to appreciate your own unique beauty and self, how can you ever expect someone else to appreciate those things.

2. Most people have no idea what their perfect mate is like. How can you ever expect to attract the love of your life if you are unable to see what that is in your head. If you have no idea, or a very vague idea of what the love of a lifetime means for you, you can’t possibly find it. It would be the same as someone telling you to find the town of Danville. Where would you even begin if you had no access to a map and had to find it just by driving. You don’t even have a state to start with. Is that Danville Pennsylania, or Danville Virginia? Love is no different. You must have a good grasp on what the love of your life would be like.

3. So many people cling to the first person who shows any sign of liking them. I am amazed at how so many people will not buy the first car they see, or the first house they look at. Yet the very same people will grab ahold of the first person who shows them a little attention as though that one person were the last person on earth. There are over 6 billion people on this planet for
god’s sake. Don’t settle for someone until they prove to you that they are the person you are looking for.

4. Many people are afraid to go out and meet new people. They are afraid to approach new people and make new friends. Especially if that new person is someone they find attractive and would like to get to know. Most people simply sit and wish for what they want. There must always be action to get to where you want to go. You can’t simply imagine yourself in some gorgeous vacation spot, wiggle your nose, and instantly teleport there. You must buy tickets, show up for the scheduled departure time of your plane, get on the plane, and go to where that spot is. If you want to meet someone, you must get out and get to know people. This really goes back to number 1. Because most people do not love themselves, they are terrified of the rejection. But I am not a dating coach, and how to work on that area of yourself is subject for another article.

5. You must take the time to imagine the love of your life. Feel the feelings of being in love. Imagine the things you would do if you were in love right now. How you would treat that other person. What their hair or perfume or cologne would smell like. Feel them in your arms as you hug them and hold them. Hear their words fall from their lips. Even if you don’t know exactly what the person of your dreams looks like, you can imagine what someone you would be attracted to would look like. Don’t get caught up on one specific person. Be open and willing to receive the type of person who would help you feel wealthy in
the arena of love and relationships.

6. Open yourself up to receive love. So many people want specific things, and being specific about what you want is important, however, do not be specific about how you acquire that thing. Allow the universe to do it’s magic. If you imagine the person of
your dreams coming to you in a very specific way, like through a job or a hobby, you are limiting the universe to only those specific areas. The universe is much greater and more vast than we can imagine. Allow it to use it’s resources to bring you what it is you want.

7. The moment that the universe offers an opportunity, take it. The second you feel an impulse or a feeling to do something or move in a specific direction, or the moment something happens that seems like a “coincidence,” move. Take action. Do not hesitate. Do not delay. Don’t even blink. Take action and take action immediately. That is your sign from the universe
that the opportunity has come. Take it, and move forward.

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