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Archive for the 'Love' Category

Sep 16 2009

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Joann

Manifesting Love with The Law of Attraction

Filed under Law of Attraction, Love

The law of attraction says, we attract into our reality the objects/situations that matched our predominant thoughts. The quality of our thoughts shapes the kind of person we are, so we also attract the people who are like us.

Take this story for example:

One afternoon, Nasruddin and his friend were sitting in a cafe, drinking tea, and talking about life and love. “How come you never got married, Nasruddin?” asked his friend at one point. “Well,” said Nasruddin, “to tell you the truth, I spent my youth looking for the perfect woman. In Cairo, I met a beautiful and intelligent woman, with eyes like dark olives, but she was unkind. Then in Baghdad, I met a woman who was a wonderful and generous soul, but we had no interests in common. One woman after another would seem just right, but there would aways be something missing. Then one day, I met her. She was beautiful, intelligent, generous and kind. We had everything in common. In fact she was perfect.” “Well,” said Nasruddin?s friend, “what happened? Why didn’t you marry her? Nasruddin sipped his tea reflectively. “Well,” he replied, “it’s a sad thing. Seems she was looking for the perfect man.”

Nasruddin attracted for himself a woman just like him, “someone who’s looking for the perfect partner.” If he had made himself into a perfect man according to his own ideals, he would have found and married the perfect woman.

When using the law of attraction to manifest a romantic relationship in your life, you have to be the kind of person you want to attract yourself. If you are on the chubby side, don’t focus on attracting men who are lean, or muscular. Open yourself up also to the men who have the same body build as you have. If you don’t like chubby men, lose weight first.

Love Quotes: Manifesting and Finding True Love

That is the second important requirement. The first is loving yourself.

In order to start using the law of attraction for romance, international relationship expert and renowned hypnotherapist, Tanya Haden Tebb suggested you start answering these seven questions:

1. Define the type of relationship you want

“I want to meet the man of my dreams,” isn’t going to cut it. Be specific (e.g., “I want to find a husband who is passionate about his career and loves kids. He enjoys cycling and picnics in the park.” or “I desire to have a wild love affair with a French man who has curly black hair and brown eyes.” or “I would love to go on a romantic date with a man who buys me flowers and makes me laugh.”).

2. How does this man treat you?

(e.g., He takes me out to dinner, buys me flowers, holds my hand, finds my jokes funny, tells me I am beautiful, pampers me and treats me like a princess, rubs my feet after a long day…)

3. How does it feel when you are with him?

(e.g., I tremble when he brushes past me, my heart beats faster when I hear his name, we talk and talk for hours as if we have known each other for years, I feel safe when his strong arms are around me, it is like music to my ears when I hear his laughter…)

4. What does he look like?

(e.g., He has a warm smile, big muscles, blonde hair and green eyes, black hair and brown eyes, curly brown hair, tall/short, dark/fair skinned, freckles…))

5. What does he do for fun?

(e.g., Work out at the gym, listen to/play music, cycle, play golf/football/tennis, eat out, go to bars/clubs, hiking, mountain climbing, reading, swimming, travel…)

6. Where will you meet this man?

(e.g., I meet him at an airport, sports bar, night club, on the internet, through friends, by chance, at a wedding, in the grocery/video store, library, at the beach, gym, tennis club…)

7. How will you know you’ve found him?

(e.g., He proposes to me on a starry night. We are lying together on a sandy beach listening to the waves crashing against the shore. I wake up in the morning to find him making me breakfast in the kitchen. Our eyes meet across a crowded room and he comes over and asks me to dance…) [1]

Ms. Tebb should add another question to this list and it should be placed at number 1. The list should include, “Will I be attracted to myself ?”

The law of attraction will always work for you if you let it. And before you get busy with your “man project” (or woman project) remember to look for love for the sake of sharing love, not just because you want to be loved. Relationships require commitment and commitment requires selflessness. This is the reason why you have to learn to love yourself first.

Good Luck!

Resource Box:

Joann Ang. She discovered the Law of Attraction by asking a question. Since then she has become an eager student of the lessons of the universe. She owns the website Manifesting with the Law of Attraction.

End Note:

[1] From “Is The Law Of Attraction Broken? How Do I Find My Soulmate When I Can’t Even Get A Date!” by Tanya Haden Tebb. If you are ready to learn more about dating, relationships, men, and attracting (and keeping) your Mr. Right, then you are ready for the newly released groundbreaking eBook, “How to Attract Men—The Goddess Secrets.” Written by acclaimed International Relationship Expert and Renowned Hypnotherapist, Tanya Haden Tebb. Visit http://www.how-to-attract-men.com/attract_men.html to get one step closer to attracting him starting now.

If you wish to reprint this, make sure you include the end notes and the resource box with the links properly working and point to the websites indicated.

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Sep 06 2009

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Guest Author

Love Magic: How to Attract Your Perfect Partner for Passion, Profession or Play

Filed under Law of Attraction, Love

The Myths that Keep Us from Love

Are society’s relationship myths causing you to give up on love or settle for less than what you want?

Most of the people who taught us about love are people who don’t let themselves be loved. Hello? What’s wrong with this picture? A little wacky, yes? Yes!

In truth, is there any good reason to withhold love from yourself? The accurate answer is “No!” Let’s do a Reality Check on love.

Myth No.1 – You have to work at having a good relationship.

Reality: A relationship that is good for you does not take work. If you have so many problems and disharmonies in a partnership that it feels like work to stay involved, then the person is not right for you. Differences of opinion, style and preference should be a source of intrigue and attraction, not a quagmire of argument and conflict.

Myth No.2 – Negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are necessary for two people to have a successful partnership.

Manifesting with the Law of Attraction: What You Desire

Reality: Not every day! Frequent negotiation, compromise and sacrifice are warning signs of a doomed relationship. If you find yourself having to negotiate, compromise or sacrifice more than once a week to keep your partnership going, that relationship has too many natural disharmonies to be right for you, or the other person. Fun, nurturing, lasting partnerships are based on natural mutuality-an organic harmony of traits and values that already exist before the two people meet, not after they both give up their spirit to “make things work.” If a relationship is hard, troublesome and requires a lot of struggle and effort, guess what? No amount of communication or counseling is going to make that connection easy, fun or fruitful.

Myth No.3 – All the good ones are taken.

Reality: Every single person has a special, perfect someone waiting for them. The togetherness we long for is assured. We have pre-arranged with one, or more, personal soulmates to meet this lifetime in order to help each other open to love. All you need to do is remove the living room couch, refrigerator and kitchen sink from blocking the front door to your house (heart) so that your destined lover can get in!

Myth No.4 – You can borrow good qualities from your “better half.”

Reality: You can for a while. But you need to quickly become-rather than borrow-those good qualities. Otherwise, you’re dependent on the other person for the better qualities. Enjoy intimacy as a mutual exchange of energy between interdependent equals. Address your flaws, and become the type of person you’d like to date. The Law of Attraction rules in seeking a partner. Like vibration attracts like vibration. If you possess the qualities that you want in a partner, the law of attraction will work for you.

Myth No.5 – If I can just change my partner’s behavior, things will be better.

Reality: Famous last words! YOU can’t change other people. They need to evolve on their own path at their own pace. Besides, you are always dating yourself anyway! In truth, your partner is solely-souly-a liberating mirror reflection of your own consciousness. You must change your inside world for the outside world to improve. You are always meeting yourself in others. If you’re not happy with the type of person you are attracting, take a look at the type of person you are.

Myth No.6 – A member of the opposite sex-or energy-will balance me out.

Reality: Being balanced is an inside job. Fuse the forces of your feminine and masculine energies to tap your full potential. Cultivate playfulness, laughter and self-revealing humor. Invite serendipity and surprise to reveal your other side. Welcome the unexpected and spontaneous from yourself!

Myth No.7 – I have to take what I get; I can’t be choosy.

Reality: Invoke the basic Feng-shui Law of the Vacuum: You must be willing to walk away from what you don’t want so that you can be available (empty, receptive, open) for what you do want. The next perfect partner for you can’t come into your life if your love space is filled with someone you are tolerating, settling for, or simply using to avoid loneliness.

Myth No.8 – I’m stuck with a lousy Love Script.

Reality: You can re-write your Personal Love Theme with a better ending. Choose to be innocent (free) of the effect of the past. Performing an autopsy on a failed relationship can be a very valuable tool in helping you understand which areas you need to work on to be more successful in your next relationship. Then be willing to acquire or develop the skills and qualities required to help you be more successful in your next connection.

Myth No.9 – I have to give up my personal freedom to be in a committed relationship. Love = Ball & Chain.

Reality: Real love and freedom go hand in hand. In a soulmate connection based on the optimal spiritual evolution of each party, you can maintain personal freedom while opening to profound intimacy. Give your commitment and trust to the spirit, rather than the form, of the relationship. Sometimes lack of communication is the culprit, if you view a partnership as bondage. Identify the amount of space you need to be happy in a relationship and learn how to communicate your desire to your partner.

Myth No.10 – Because of “Original Sin,” I don’t deserve love.

Reality: Original Sin was actually only an Original Misunderstanding. The so-called Original Sin we committed was that we thought we were separate from God. Turns out we ‘re not. The Good News is that we were wrong. There is no bad news.

Myth No.11 – Relationships take time, energy, effort and hard work.

Reality: The only work involved is keeping love away. We spend countless hours and effort successfully dodging love at every point of contact in our lives. Every encounter with another human being is an opportunity to receive love-in the form of kindness, generosity, a warm handshake or a shared laugh. Right relationships give you energy. Lousy relationships drain your energy.

Myth No.12 – If I open my heart, my partner can hurt my feelings. Love = Pain.

Reality: Other people cannot hurt our feelings; they can only trigger feelings that are already hurt within us. The hurt feelings are already present in our consciousness-in our past, our personality, our programming. In truth, your partner is doing you a big favor by bringing up a wound, a sore spot, within a loving context-for the purpose of healing and releasing it. It’s not possible to avoid hurt feelings in life or a relationship. But you can use the support of real love to move the hurt feelings up and out.

Myth No.13 – Another person can “fill the hole” we feel inside.

Reality: Temporarily at best! Only you can permanently “fulfill the whole” within yourself. Helpfully, for a while, a partner can remind you of what it feels like to feel loved and whole. Then if you surf that wave of connection, you can arrive at the shore of lasting self-love.

Myth No.14 – It’s best to hide your Shadow from the other person.

Reality: It’s best to reveal your weaknesses and faults as soon as possible. It’s not called “in-to-me-see” for nothing. There’s no way to get close to someone and not have your whole self eventually revealed. Learn to dance with your Dark Side. Learn to love everything about your unique self-the whole enchilada, warts and all. The American Plains Indians revealed their worst deficiencies and flaws on their warrior shields. They knew that acknowledging the truth of our shortcomings gives us strength. Full self-acceptance is our greatest asset.

Myth No.15 – If I just loose weight, I’ll attract the lover of my dreams.

Reality: Weight has nothing to do with exercise, genes, diet or how much we eat. Maintaining our perfect body weight is a direct function of the free flow of love in our lives. Weight has everything to do with our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or how much we eat. And our beliefs about exercise, genes, diet or how much we eat are a direct result of our willingness to have love flow freely in our lives.

Myth: No.16 – I’m afraid of rejection or abandonment.

Reality: Spread the heartening news: We cannot be rejected by another person unless we have rejected ourselves first. We leave love-love never leaves us. This is a good thing. It means we are in the driver’s seat. It means we can open-and keep open-the door to love anytime we choose. Find a way to move into more self-acceptance and your days of rejection and abandonment are history.

Attract Your Ideal Relationship Using the Law of Attraction

Myth No.17 – Relationships are made on Earth.

Reality: Relationship are made in Heaven. Embrace love for what it truly is: a mystical sacrament and a sensual communion. Align your description of your Earthly Dream Partner with the design of your soulmate agreement, and you will find your Heavenly babe TODAY!

Myth No.18 – I need to marry-or get a formal commitment-from my partner to keep them around.

Reality: “Things which go together naturally need not be tied.” – Lao Tzu, Chinese sage

Resource Box:

Want to know more about the reality of real love that awaits you? Contact “The Love Doctor’” Keith Varnum at 800.736.7367, or keith@thedream.com, for your Free Love Analysis.

Drawing from the wisdom of native and ancient spiritual traditions, Keith Varnum shares his 30 years of practical success as an author, personal coach, acupuncturist, filmmaker, radio host, restaurateur, vision quest guide and international seminar leader (The Dream Workshops). Keith helps people get the love, money and health they want with his FREE “Prosperity Ezine” at www.TheDream.com.

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May 12 2009

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Joann

LOVE that Liberates vs. “Love” that Enslaves

Filed under Love

I find this article very inspiring and agree 100% with how the author distinguished the two kinds of love. I have been enslaved by “love” but it was also love that liberated me. I think many people have gone through the same experience. To those who are in love, and those who are broken-hearted, please read this article.

This article is owned and copyrighted by Maria Seferou. Her short biography appears at the end of the article. To Maria Seferou, thank you for this wonderful article. -Joann
   

There is no doubt that love is the highest virtue in human interrelationships and the mother of all virtues. It is the spiritual cement that holds the world together, and the basic ingredient of happiness both for the giver as well as the recipient. But we must distinguish between genuine love and fake love. There is love that liberates and “love” that binds, love that edifies the soul and uplifts the spirit, and fake love that becomes an attachment, seeking to control and enslave the recipient, demanding blind submission.


There is healthy love and “love” that becomes almost a torture, a psychological sickness. Healthy love has its roots in our Spirit and it springs forth from our heart, while fake love stems from our instincts and inflated ego, which it seeks to gratify. Real love is the greatest fruit of the Spirit within, but feigned love is the product of insecurity and selfishness, and it begets jealousy, a very destructive vice. Sound love expects nothing, but carnal love expects too much in return. Whole love goes hand-in-hand with wisdom and truth, but fake love deceives. Genuine love is rare, although we are often deceived into believing that we truly love.


It is to our benefit to distinguish between spiritual love and carnal love. The difference between them is striking. But how many of us are interested in detecting and transforming our carnal love into the highest form of love? How many of us, and how often are we consciously endeavoring to offer true love to fellow human beings? How difficult is this? It is certainly not easy at all, and it often hurts… Some said that healthy love is an art; indeed it is the greatest art, but just like every art, it requires inspiration!


Knowing how to truly love does not come by studying and following a set of rules. Head knowledge won’t take us very far with love, but spiritual enlightenment and heart transformation will. Spiritual love is spontaneous, but carnal love is subtly calculated to serve one’s own interests. We cannot work for true love to manifest in us; it comes only when our heart is ready for it. It just springs forth and, as a divine force, it heals whomsoever it touches. And, behold, the more we offer true love the more it grows in perfection. As we share it with others, it increases within us and we have it in abundance. The fountain of true love never dries up. Genuine love is also peaceful and peacemaking. Oh, how does our violent and hatred-tormented world need the divine touch of pure LOVE!


Love is the heart of Christian teaching. I am sure when Jesus preached love he was talking about spiritual, i.e. unselfish love. He said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34) However, contrary to the popular belief that love was Jesus’ new commandment, we also find similar exhortations to love one another in the Old Testament. Just to put the records straight, I shall quote a few verses from the O.T. that refer to love: “You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” (Lev. 19: 18)


Here is another O.T. instruction to love each other that includes the aliens: “This is what the Lord of hosts says: ‘Administer true justice, show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor; and let none of you device evil against his brother in your heart’.” (Zech. 7: 9-10) Love should embrace even the strangers: “He (God) executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. Love the stranger therefore; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” (Deut. 10: 18-19) It is amazing that the highest spiritual standards of love were put forward even in the O.T. era, when the “eye for an eye” practice was prevalent! “Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart”, says Solomon. (Prov. 3: 3) True love can only be “written” on the “tablet” of one’s heart! But King Solomon went even further: “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Prov. 10:12) Here we have a hint to forgiveness, so familiar in Jesus’ teaching!


Could, peradventure, too much love harm anyone? Yes, definitely! If love is given indiscriminately and unwisely to a person, whether a spouse, one’s children, or friend, then it harms both the giver and the recipient of love. It spoils the recipient by nurturing his/her vanity and ingratitude, and it drains the giver. While the giver is totally unselfish and does not expect anything in return, with his/her sacrificial love one blocks the path of the recipient towards spiritual progress and emotional maturity and stability. On the other hand, the giver is breaking the sovereign law of reciprocity and neglects his/her duty to also love him/herself.


The instruction given by Jesus is: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mat. 22:39) Not loving oneself is neither spiritual nor beneficial, as it emotionally starves one’s soul. We need to first love ourselves in order to be able to love others in an edifying way. We must take proper care of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs in order to be able to offer healthy love to others. There must be a balance. Even Jesus, a giant of love, expected gratitude when he healed the10 lepers. Here is the relevant account: “And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.’ When he saw them he said to them, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, ‘Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?’” (Luke 17: 12-17)

Which are the fundamental characteristics of true love? St. Paul gave a most beautiful short treatise on love in his 1st Epistle to Corinthians. For the sake of completeness of this article, I shall quote those verses, although, I am sure they are familiar to most people who have a basic knowledge of the Bible.


“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is longsuffering, and is kind; love does not envy, is not impertinent, and it does not boast; love is not rude, does not seek her own, is not irritable, and does not think evil; love does not delight in injustice but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;(…)” (1 Cor. 13: 1-8a)

When I first came across the above verses, I wondered how anyone could deliver one’s body to be burned or give away all one’s possessions without having love… Apparently, this is possible. One could be doing it out of selfish motives, and this is not genuine love. True love penetrates every particle of one’s body, and expresses itself in faith, unselfishness, kindness, forgiveness, patience, longsuffering, meekness, tranquility, hopefulness, endurance, and primarily wisdom! This should be the ideal and the goal of every enlightened person: to be perfected in love. If we truly love, we will avoid offending and harming anyone, for we do not like to grieve a fellow human being. So, perfect love, which, by the way, drives out fear, also prevents us from transgression. Wouldn’t we all desire to be harmless to others?


In this article, I purposely avoided referring to the first part of Jesus’ great commandment, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Mat 22:37), as I am trying to reach with the message of love even the atheists. Besides, how can we practically show our love to God? It is only through loving fellow humans, even our enemies, since God lives in all. This is why St. John wrote: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) Yet, to my understanding, loving God means loving our higher Self within and surrendering our will to the will of the Spirit within, which is the essence of God in us. The problem, however, is how to accurately discern the “still small voice” of the Spirit within. Unfortunately, people can be deceived by many ‘voices’, all seemingly coming from within, and be led to destruction. But this is a different subject…


Author:


Maria Seferou was born in an agricultural family of Dendron, a small village of Peloponnese, Greece. She studied Civil/Structural Engineering at National Technical University of Athens and had a successful 20-year professional career both in Greece and in England. For the last 22 years she has been a writer of non-fiction books and articles on religious, philosophical, political and social issues.

 


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