Archive for the 'Love' Category

May 12 2009

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Joann

LOVE that Liberates vs. “Love” that Enslaves

Filed under Love

I find this article very inspiring and agree 100% with how the author distinguished the two kinds of love. I have been enslaved by “love” but it was also love that liberated me. I think many people have gone through the same experience. To those who are in love, and those who are broken-hearted, please read this article.

This article is owned and copyrighted by Maria Seferou. Her short biography appears at the end of the article. To Maria Seferou, thank you for this wonderful article. -Joann
   

There is no doubt that love is the highest virtue in human interrelationships and the mother of all virtues. It is the spiritual cement that holds the world together, and the basic ingredient of happiness both for the giver as well as the recipient. But we must distinguish between genuine love and fake love. There is love that liberates and “love” that binds, love that edifies the soul and uplifts the spirit, and fake love that becomes an attachment, seeking to control and enslave the recipient, demanding blind submission.


There is healthy love and “love” that becomes almost a torture, a psychological sickness. Healthy love has its roots in our Spirit and it springs forth from our heart, while fake love stems from our instincts and inflated ego, which it seeks to gratify. Real love is the greatest fruit of the Spirit within, but feigned love is the product of insecurity and selfishness, and it begets jealousy, a very destructive vice. Sound love expects nothing, but carnal love expects too much in return. Whole love goes hand-in-hand with wisdom and truth, but fake love deceives. Genuine love is rare, although we are often deceived into believing that we truly love.


It is to our benefit to distinguish between spiritual love and carnal love. The difference between them is striking. But how many of us are interested in detecting and transforming our carnal love into the highest form of love? How many of us, and how often are we consciously endeavoring to offer true love to fellow human beings? How difficult is this? It is certainly not easy at all, and it often hurts… Some said that healthy love is an art; indeed it is the greatest art, but just like every art, it requires inspiration!


Knowing how to truly love does not come by studying and following a set of rules. Head knowledge won’t take us very far with love, but spiritual enlightenment and heart transformation will. Spiritual love is spontaneous, but carnal love is subtly calculated to serve one’s own interests. We cannot work for true love to manifest in us; it comes only when our heart is ready for it. It just springs forth and, as a divine force, it heals whomsoever it touches. And, behold, the more we offer true love the more it grows in perfection. As we share it with others, it increases within us and we have it in abundance. The fountain of true love never dries up. Genuine love is also peaceful and peacemaking. Oh, how does our violent and hatred-tormented world need the divine touch of pure LOVE!


Love is the heart of Christian teaching. I am sure when Jesus preached love he was talking about spiritual, i.e. unselfish love. He said, “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another.” (John 13:34) However, contrary to the popular belief that love was Jesus’ new commandment, we also find similar exhortations to love one another in the Old Testament. Just to put the records straight, I shall quote a few verses from the O.T. that refer to love: “You shall not take vengeance or bear any grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself. I am the Lord.” (Lev. 19: 18)


Here is another O.T. instruction to love each other that includes the aliens: “This is what the Lord of hosts says: ‘Administer true justice, show mercy and compassion to one another. Do not oppress the widow or the fatherless, the alien or the poor; and let none of you device evil against his brother in your heart’.” (Zech. 7: 9-10) Love should embrace even the strangers: “He (God) executes justice for the fatherless and the widow, and loves the stranger, giving him food and clothing. Love the stranger therefore; for you were strangers in the land of Egypt.” (Deut. 10: 18-19) It is amazing that the highest spiritual standards of love were put forward even in the O.T. era, when the “eye for an eye” practice was prevalent! “Let not steadfast love and faithfulness forsake you; bind them around your neck; write them on the tablet of your heart”, says Solomon. (Prov. 3: 3) True love can only be “written” on the “tablet” of one’s heart! But King Solomon went even further: “Hatred stirs up strife, but love covers all offenses.” (Prov. 10:12) Here we have a hint to forgiveness, so familiar in Jesus’ teaching!


Could, peradventure, too much love harm anyone? Yes, definitely! If love is given indiscriminately and unwisely to a person, whether a spouse, one’s children, or friend, then it harms both the giver and the recipient of love. It spoils the recipient by nurturing his/her vanity and ingratitude, and it drains the giver. While the giver is totally unselfish and does not expect anything in return, with his/her sacrificial love one blocks the path of the recipient towards spiritual progress and emotional maturity and stability. On the other hand, the giver is breaking the sovereign law of reciprocity and neglects his/her duty to also love him/herself.


The instruction given by Jesus is: “You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mat. 22:39) Not loving oneself is neither spiritual nor beneficial, as it emotionally starves one’s soul. We need to first love ourselves in order to be able to love others in an edifying way. We must take proper care of our physical, emotional and spiritual needs in order to be able to offer healthy love to others. There must be a balance. Even Jesus, a giant of love, expected gratitude when he healed the10 lepers. Here is the relevant account: “And as he entered a village, he was met by ten lepers, who stood at a distance and lifted up their voices, saying, ‘Jesus, Master, have mercy on us.’ When he saw them he said to them, ‘Go and show yourselves to the priests.’ And as they went they were cleansed. Then one of them, when he saw that he was healed, turned back, praising God with a loud voice; and he fell on his face at Jesus’ feet, giving him thanks. And he was a Samaritan. Then Jesus answered, ‘Were not ten cleansed? Where are the nine?’” (Luke 17: 12-17)

Which are the fundamental characteristics of true love? St. Paul gave a most beautiful short treatise on love in his 1st Epistle to Corinthians. For the sake of completeness of this article, I shall quote those verses, although, I am sure they are familiar to most people who have a basic knowledge of the Bible.


“If I speak in the tongues of men and of angels, but have not love, I am a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal. And if I have the gift of prophecy and understand all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but have not love, I am nothing. If I give away all I have, and if I deliver my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing. Love is longsuffering, and is kind; love does not envy, is not impertinent, and it does not boast; love is not rude, does not seek her own, is not irritable, and does not think evil; love does not delight in injustice but rejoices in the truth; love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends;(…)” (1 Cor. 13: 1-8a)

When I first came across the above verses, I wondered how anyone could deliver one’s body to be burned or give away all one’s possessions without having love… Apparently, this is possible. One could be doing it out of selfish motives, and this is not genuine love. True love penetrates every particle of one’s body, and expresses itself in faith, unselfishness, kindness, forgiveness, patience, longsuffering, meekness, tranquility, hopefulness, endurance, and primarily wisdom! This should be the ideal and the goal of every enlightened person: to be perfected in love. If we truly love, we will avoid offending and harming anyone, for we do not like to grieve a fellow human being. So, perfect love, which, by the way, drives out fear, also prevents us from transgression. Wouldn’t we all desire to be harmless to others?


In this article, I purposely avoided referring to the first part of Jesus’ great commandment, “You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.” (Mat 22:37), as I am trying to reach with the message of love even the atheists. Besides, how can we practically show our love to God? It is only through loving fellow humans, even our enemies, since God lives in all. This is why St. John wrote: “If anyone says, ‘I love God,’ and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen.” (1 John 4:20) Yet, to my understanding, loving God means loving our higher Self within and surrendering our will to the will of the Spirit within, which is the essence of God in us. The problem, however, is how to accurately discern the “still small voice” of the Spirit within. Unfortunately, people can be deceived by many ‘voices’, all seemingly coming from within, and be led to destruction. But this is a different subject…


Author:


Maria Seferou was born in an agricultural family of Dendron, a small village of Peloponnese, Greece. She studied Civil/Structural Engineering at National Technical University of Athens and had a successful 20-year professional career both in Greece and in England. For the last 22 years she has been a writer of non-fiction books and articles on religious, philosophical, political and social issues.

 


       

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Apr 18 2009

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Heidi Richards

Feng Shui And Romance – Using The Ancient Art To Enhance Your Romantic Space

Filed under Feng Shui, Love

“If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire.” Heidi Richards

Feng Shui (pronounced fung shway) is the ancient Asian practice of object arrangement and space planning designed to bring balance, harmony and well-being to your environment. Its purpose is to enhance prosperity, creative, health and romance. Feng Shui fortifies a home with positive energy known as chi. The attainment of positive chi is both an art and a blessing to those who manifest that chi. The word “feng” means wind and “shui” means water, each one associated with a good harvest and ultimate good health or good fortune.

If your love life needs a quick boost, you can use the art of placement to produce the romantic results you desire. Relationships need the proper environment to grow. They need the balance of the five elements, too much or too little will find the romance wither. Here are some Feng Shui tips to enhance your romantic space:

1. The first thing you must do is remove clutter out of your romance area (generally this is the bedroom). That means you must remove trash, dirty ashtrays, dead plants and nothing should be stored under the bed. Dust and cobwebs on the fans, walls, light fixtures and ceilings should be cleaned away.

2. Enhance your space with romance colors, such as shades of pinks, reds and whites. Guys, this does not mean it has to be feminine. You can use maroon, grayish tones of pinks and whites to achieve the same results. The key is to not use any one color so much that it overpowers the others. Other good colors include browns, beiges, lavenders, yellows and deeper shades of those are appropriate.

3. If you keep flowers in the room (an excellent way to attract romance into your life), make sure they are always fresh. At the first sign of wilting, toss them out. Silk flowers are an okay alternative, provided they are free of dust. Absolutely no dried flowers as they signify death. Also, make sure the roses are de-thorned. Nothing prickly such as cactus, unless your goal is to break-up.

4. In Feng Shui a Relationship Altar positively stimulates a relationship. Designate a special place in your romance area in which to put items that will encourage a healthy, loving relationship. Things to include in your relationship altar can include a heart shaped pink crystal quartz, a pair of candles, mandarin ducks.

5. Use the Pairs Principle to encourage love. That means two candles, two nightstands, two lights on top, two potted plants, two pillows, two chairs, etc. The Chinese symbol for love is Mandarin ducks. They signify love, romance, fidelity, affection, and loyalty in love.

6. Your bed should be placed in the commanding position of the room. This is to permit the widest possible vision. The door or entry to the room should be easily seen from the bed. And the head of the bed should be against a wall or against a corner. If you have nightstands, make sure one is on either side (a pair) and that the bed is accessible on three sides to attract and keep a partner. The bed should not be placed under a window.

7. The bedroom is for sleep and intimacy. No one should come into your room without your invitation. There should be no distractions such as workout equipment, a television, things that would remind you of work.

8. It is good to hang pink (heart-shaped) crystals and wind chimes in a sunny window to attract good love energy (yang).

9. Pictures of you as a child, your children or other relatives should also be removed from the bedroom or romance area. This space should be reserved for couples and should only display pictures of the two of you.

10. Dim lights will give the room a warm, inviting feeling. No harsh fluorescents or high wattage lighting, here.

While this is by no means the ultimate guide to Feng Shui for Romance, it is a good start. These ten tips will give your relationship area the boost it deserves and your romance the fulfillment it requires. Altar your space and you will altar your love life.

© 2005 Excerpted from the book, Romance on a Budget – www.romanceonabudget.net.

Heidi Richards is an Author, Professional Speaker, and Business Mentor. She is the owner of Eden Florist & Gift Baskets – www.edenflorist.com and the Founder & CEO of the Women’s ECommerce Association, International www.WECAI.org – an Internet organization that “Helps Women Do Business on the WEB.” BASIC Membership is Free. She can be reached at heidi@edenflorist.com.

       

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Jan 13 2009

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Pamela Skuse

Sabotage Self-Worth — How Does Not Loving Yourself Play Out in Your World? Part 2

Filed under Life, Love

The consciousness of your energy structure unconsciously projects out what is going on at your deep core level. A façade cannot hide your fears and your baggage. These are the inner conflicting qualities that are projecting out into the community. They are seen within family feuds, community bickering, bureaucratic rules, the serpents of society and global wars.

7 Points on how does ‘not loving yourself’ play out in your world?

* Not loving yourself is contaminating your body with chemicals from inhaling/eating toxic substances that gives a highly addictive-abusive quality that self-destructs the physical.

* Not loving yourself is drinking fluids that produce a drunken lethargic body that does not want to exercise. * Not loving yourself is indulging in foods – the rich sweets and fast foods — the pick-me-ups that produce a swollen gas-filled belly and to store a cloth of fat to protect yourself from not being loved by yourself.

* Not loving yourself is having moods of back stabbing squabbles, snorting in judgmental discontent and creating the bad habits of fighting, manipulating and controlling others in your world.

* Not loving yourself is allowing others to control you, to feed off you, to disempower you to enslave your energy through judgments, appeasement, agendas, obligation and compromise.

* Not loving yourself is feeding yourself with complaining, festering fearful thoughts of belittlement, judgment, disliking self from out-dated and worn-out beliefs or even being physically or mentally attached and obsessed to something or a dependent relationship outside of yourself.

* Not loving yourself is thinking that you do not deserve something, that you must be punished for a sin or error, and that you are not allowing yourself to receive the abundance and the empowerment that you can claim. Your heart cries out to receive your worth. Instead you live with ‘just enough to survive’ that is filled with suffering, hardship and effort — a belief in ‘no pain — no gain’.

The Dualistic Imbalance

* At one over-inflated level of the ego – not loving yourself can contain force, greed and power, through the fear of not being in control and ownership over yourself. It then takes on a quality of trying to control, force, fight, steal and feed-off others to get what you want–to gain love.

* At the bottom level of a squashed ego–not loving yourself is having unworthy, disempowering and self-denial, ‘just enough’ concepts. It is about lacking physical pleasures and comforts that lead to poverty – instead of living in a wonderful abundant environment.

Then what is the deeper energy involved in self-love?

Self-love is not vanity, selfishness or arrogance! All these negative qualities are not love. They are a FEAR!

The fear for you not to love yourself is an imbalance and a lack. It is an over inflated poor self-esteem or a low self-worth inflicted by an unbalanced egotistical intellect, reinforced by mass consciousness hypnotic belief system and overlays. It allows inferiority and unworthiness to surface – to be replaced by an ‘instead’. These issues bring a feeling that you are not good enough, that you have done something wrong, that you feel that you have sinned, a mistake by your creations, an a high power force must save you — and that has created karma of cause and effect. You think you need to be punished for your mistakes and therefore you need to suffer. Look at the world and you will see suffering, hardship, punishment and struggling with ‘just enough to survive’. Then you feel that you don’t deserve. This leaves you with a feeling of guilt, shame and resistance – a destructive energy that destroys what you have built. Resistance brings pain and pain brings suffering – is a rigid belief system of an unbalanced perceptions.

The fear of the indoctrinated belief that self-love is vain, selfish and egotistical to love yourself has allowed you to accept these fearful rules, taught conditions and dogmatic standards within mass consciousness as being true for you. To serve others first and not to love the self was written in the scriptures to bring fear, control and greed upon the masses. The consciousness at the time was low, cruel, barbaric and harsh and it was appropriate at the time. Times have changed; consciousness has risen in a modern technological era, to where these handed down beliefs do not serve you anymore.

When you cannot love and accept yourself, when you are angry, spiteful, jealous and judgmental etc, you are an empty vessel and an empty vessel has nothing to give other than your fearful baggage, agendas and burdens. Yet an empty vessel cannot receive love and abundance because you are in so much denial of accepting yourself or of trying to give everything to others that you ‘miss the boat’ — so to speak and ignore any opportunities that come your way to receive. When you keep giving to others, and you cannot receive you will begin to complain, stating that ‘no one supports you’ that ‘no one appreciates what you do’ and so on.

It is time to let go of old way, old belief structures that have been passed down for centuries. By learning to love yourself, to accept yourself, to honour your 100 percent worth that you have inherited since birth, you will realize that all of your experiences have been about the percentage level of how you have seen yourself, how you have treated yourself and how much you thought you deserved something. Now with a new expanded perception you can still love the worth of yourself without feeding off and disempowering or stealing energies from others and vice versa. The balance is just that — ‘you can have your cake and eat it’ — you can love yourself, you can give yourself the treasures of what life has to offer and you can give that to others along with your compassion, acceptance, honour and blessings and to serve others too if and when they choose to accept it.

       

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