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Archive for the 'Happiness' Category

Aug 17 2009

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Journaling Your Way To Happiness

Filed under Happiness, Life

Oprah has said it and so will I, keeping a daily journal is an excellent way to help yourself to a generous dose of Happiness.

In studies conducted, it has been found that writing the events of the day in a journal drastically increases your powers of recall and memory. It also helps to ‘unload’ all the baggage you’ve collected during the day. It helps you to remember all the blessings you’ve been sent and the new ways you learned to overcome an obstacle. It allows you to see all the wonderful things that happened today and reminds you to be grateful.

Congratulate yourself on all the good you did, the lessons you learned and even just getting through the day to the best of your ability.

Journaling helps you to go back through each event that happened during the day and analyze your reaction to that event. This way you can gain valuable information that slipped past in the rush.

You see interactions with others (good and bad) and can learn from them. -Was reacting in that way the best way to handle the situation? -If you’d approached him from this angle, would a better result have been achieved for all parties involved?

You reinforce your memory by reviewing the day’s happenings. -By going over the day’s events your memory is forced to recall details that you would otherwise have forgotten. This re-enforces the path of your memory and you’ll find it easier to recall specific events.

You also see the gifts you were given during the day -A smile from a stranger or a compliment from the cute guy in the lift. -That taxi pulling up just in time, when you knew you were going to be late

You can keep a record of anything new that you learned. -This helps to show you that you are, in fact, learning something new every day, which gives your self-confidence a boost.

It’s also good to look back over previous journals and see how you’ve developed as a person and to reminisce. This way you can see how all the hard work you put into improving your life, is paying off.

Journaling allows you to write down what you’re grateful for, which gives you a profound sense of humility and gratitude in amongst all the thoughts of ‘lack’.

Here’s how I get the most benefit out of journaling:

I got myself a ‘day per page’ journal and made a deal with myself that I would write in it every night, before going to sleep.

I write down everything that happened during the day.

The good and bad (be careful to use positive language and always give a good side to a bad event). How you handled situations, things you learned, people you met, gifts you received (a hug from a friend or your daughter waving goodbye as you go to work)

Writing everything out helps clarify a situation, put things into perspective, clears the negative and affirms the positive.

At the bottom of the page I summarize the new things I’ve learned and the things that happened today that I’m grateful for.

I’ve found this to be a wonderful way to remind myself of all the good things that happen to me every day. In a world where we habitually tend to think negatively, a journal can be our own little ray of sunshine.

Resource Box:

Sign up for the amazing free e-course ‘5 Ways To Wake Up Happy Every Day!’ at http://www.alleviate-stress.com/web/ar21 NOW! Learn how to live the Life of your dreams by subscribing to ‘Empower Your Life!’ at http://www.TheAlternativeRookie.com, today!

       

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Jul 04 2009

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Seven Simple Exercises to Invite the Extraordinary Life

Filed under Happiness, Life

I can think of no greater encouragement than the self-evident Truth that there dwells in each of us the opportunity to explore and know the Extraordinary Life. The meaning of Extraordinary I wish to convey points to the immutable and inexhaustible source that is the secret center of each of us: a timeless resource open and available to anyone who would seek this Life that sits behind life as we know it. Will we spend our lives in mere dreams of winning a limitless life, or will we do the inner- work of awakening from this dream? Choosing the Extraordinary Life begins with our conscious work to realize it, which the following special practices help to ensure.

1. Let Nagging Questions Go Unanswered: In stressful moments, listen to what life is trying to tell you about you instead of searching anxiously for familiar answers to make life feel “right” again. All fearful, doubt-filled moments are secret reflections of what we have yet to understand about life and ourselves, not life’s rejection of us or our wish for happiness. Choose to go consciously quiet whenever there is a riot in you. Refuse to take part in the search to repair what you fear may be coming undone. Let go and watch what happens when you consciously sacrifice the fear-filled self. This new action allows the Extraordinary Life to enter into you where its presence alone proves that all is well.

2. Don’t Make the Rescue Call: In times of anxiety and fear, we almost always call upon someone or something to help us get through our stress. This dependency on others for strength not only weakens our soul, but also steals from it the possibility of being educated by the Extraordinary Life, which means we miss two major lessons. First, the crucial lesson that all our fears are based upon false evidence that appears real. With this revelation comes our second realization that the same frightened self that seeks rescue secretly confirms its imagined condition as being real each time it cries out for help. Refusing to rescue ourselves from inner states that scare us invites the Extraordinary Life that shows us that no such scared self exists that needs saving.

3. Take the Hard Way: Rut and routine are two sides of the same sad street. Repetitive patterns are the well-worn pavement that our spiritually asleep self loves to tread while it talks us to death with its empty promises of extraordinary times “just ahead.” We can learn to do much better let ourselves be betrayed in this way, but it takes inner work! Instead of caving into the demands of those slipshod parts of ourselves always looking for the easy way out, we must choose in favor of what our false nature wants us to see as being the “hard” way. But it’s not. In fact, once we learn that the only real way out of what we would rather avoid is to go through it, we discover another self-liberating truth: the only thing that’s hard on us is when we allow our unenlightened nature to convince us that getting around something is the same as rising above it.

4. Do the Thing You Fear Doing: There is a correct time and place for thinking through practical plans in the ordinary scheme of life’s events. But nothing that is founded in thought can serve to reveal the unthinkable plans that the Extraordinary holds in store for anyone willing to leap into the moment without a parachute. Never mind those old fears of falling. Just jump! Being willing to risk failing is a prerequisite for fearless living. If you will take the leap into what you are afraid of doing, the Extraordinary Life will prove to you that Its unshakable ground is everywhere beneath you at all times. Nothing compares with this discovery because, once realized, there’s nowhere to go but up! A note of caution: taking a spiritual leap is far different from taking a reckless physical risk. Never risk the well being of your physical body for the sake of a passing thrill: for what is possible to attain with a body, cannot be without one. The temporary rush of adrenalin has nothing in common with one’s awakening to the reality of a timeless, fearless life.

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5. Take Time Out from Yourself Every Day: Unseen by the self that walks upon it, thought is a treadmill powered by the movement of our yesterdays as they produce our tomorrows. This is the real meaning of “doing time.” The domain of the Extraordinary Life is Timeless. To share Its life, we must enter into Its world. Here is a good way to begin this Work: Every day, as often as can be remembered, chose to break out of that gilded, but self-confining cage called “thinking about yourself.” We live under the power of these unconscious ponderings, for when they turn dark and stormy, it is we who are left out in the cold. Even if we can only collect ourselves to meditate, pray or contemplate a Higher Idea for a few minutes at a time, we must do it anyway. These small windows – opened by our work to remember the Extraordinary Life – grant us passage into its timeless domain.

6. Open Yourself to Life: Dare to see and experience yourself as you are without giving names to all the varied emotional sensations that present themselves before your watchful inner eyes. Allow the meaning of whatever states you see coming up in you to reveal their actual nature to you. Resist the temptation to interrupt their upwelling by explaining to yourself what you are experiencing. Have no intention toward these thoughts and feelings other than to be open to them and, in doing so, to permit them their uninterrupted passage through you. Why open up to life in this way? For one thing, this gives negative states the back door they need to depart. For another, the Extraordinary Life is very possessive. It will not enter any zone marked “occupied.”

7. Make No Campsites: The Extraordinary Life visits individuals, not groups or organizations. It strengthens the soul willing to be alone for its sake. Keep your distance from people who insist that you believe as they do, who hope to convince you that the reality they have satisfied themselves with should satisfy you as well. These deceivers want only to keep you in their unreal camp. Never mind who is walking with you and who isn’t. Be wary of any campsite – inner or outer – with its bright “welcome weary traveler” sign. Most of these campers desire your company so that they can forget they are going nowhere. Walk on! Your persistence is an open invitation to the Extraordinary Life to show you the Way back home.

(Excerpted from Let Go and Live in the Now, Red Wheel/Weiser, 2004)

Resource Box:

Guy Finley is the acclaimed author of more than 30 books and audio programs on the subject of self-realization, several of which have become international best sellers. Among many others, his popular titles include: The Secret of Letting Go, Design Your Destiny, The Lost Secrets of Prayer, Apprentice of the Heart, Let Go and Live in the Now, and The Essential Laws of Fearless Living. Finley is the founder and director of Life of Learning Foundation, a nonprofit center for self-study located in Southern Oregon where he gives talks four times each week. Visit www.GuyFinley.org for a wealth of free helpful information, free audio and video downloads, and to request your free Self-Improvement Starter Kit.

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Jun 13 2009

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When the Seas of Life Get Stormy, Surf the Waves to Fun & Happiness

Filed under Happiness, Life

When the sea of life gets stormy, how can you stay shipshape and ride the waves? You’re the CAPTAIN of your ship. Being empowered means having a deep sense of confidence that you can take charge of your ship and handle whatever comes up. Use your personal power and intentionality to keep your ship on course through stormy waters.

And every good captain has a CREW. Who will you have with you on this voyage? A good mate – a life partner; a navigation officer – a coach or other expert who knows the ropes and provides vital information to help you chart your course; a purser – accountant or financial adviser; a medical officer – your personal healthcare team; and others to swab the deck, lower the anchor, and do routine maintenance – clening service, yard service, car repairman, baby sitters, etc.

You’ll need a MAP. There is a map to transitions, because there are certain things in common to all transitions. Take a Transitions course, and/or hire a coach or other expert in transitions.

All sailors have a BAROMETER. What barometers do is tell you a change is coming. This is crucial to a sailor at sea, or a sailor at life. Our intuition acts like a barometer. Wouldn’t you agree it would be good to be able to sense if you were about to be laid off, or if your daughter were experimenting with drugs? Everyone has intuition. Learn how to pump up the volume on yours and read its messages.

A ship takes on BALLAST when it’s too light to sail. Add extra sleep and nurturing in times of stress, a solid Personal Mission Statement, money-reserves, a good time management program. Shift ballast if your ship is weighted down — get rid of tolerations — negative people, time-eaters, bad habits.

Good STABILIZERS for your ship are essential. A good social support network with strong intimate relationships, people you can count on, your faith, expert help such as a coach, and a well-bolstered Resilience can stabilize you through rough times. You bolster Resilience by processing Transitions well and by growing through hard times, not just going through them.

What LIFE VESTS would you take with you in the lifeboat if your ship were sinking? Most people in my seminars mention specific people in their lives, and their faith. Some mention experts of various types. I’ve never heard anyone mention money. Life vests these days feature a light and a whistle. Your optimism is the light, guiding you to safety. Your personal power, your voice, is the whistle. Don’t forget to take these with you!

Don’t become a CORK BOBBING IN THE OCEAN. Did you know that a cork out in the middle of the ocean would bob eternally? Each wave rotates the cork slightly, but doesn’t move it anywhere. If you want to get through rough seas, you have to take action.

You have to be able to TENDER. When a ship can’t get up to a harbor, it anchors and then sends people ashore on smaller boats. It originally meant “sending out.” To tender in your own situation, you need to use creativity. How else can you get where you need to get when Plan A didn’t work out? What can you “send out” that will help the situation – requests for guidance and help?

Passing MUSTER is also essential. Muster is an emergency plan. It means putting on your life vest and reporting to your assigned muster station. This is practiced in calm times so you’ll ‘know the drill’. Having been through it in a calm and rational time, presumably in a state of panic your body will remember while your mind is flooded with emotion, and you’ll get where you need to get. Do you know where the muster station is? Practice in quiet times. You’ll need the knowledge in emergencies.

What ship doesn’t encounter WINDS OF CHANGE. Winds are always blowing in a transition. It’s typical to experience ambivalence, wanting the thing that’s gone, wanting to move forward, fear of the unknown, survivor guilt, confusion, joy, sadness, anticipation. Today you’re glad you got the promotion and ready to go, tomorrow you dread the new responsiblity, doubt you can handle it, and mourn the changed relationships. The winds can toss you about without the anchor of your Personal Power and your Stabilizers.

Stormy seas have WAVES. It matters the size of the adversity, and the succession of adverse events. One large wave can really knock you over. So can a rapid succession of smaller waves. 60′ waves routinely roll in slowly, one by one in the Pacific, causing no problem, but a rapid succession of 30′ waves sank the Edmund Fitzgerald on Lake Superior. It had no time to recover, to right itself. Depending upon the relative size of your craft and the size of the wave, it’s best to turn and face the wave rather than taking it broadside. Turn and face your problems head-on; it will be easier in the long run. There’s nothing worse than getting side-swiped. The trench of the wave is how it effects you – it may look like just a house your leaving to someone else, but to you it’s your memories and your home. Learn about you, learn about the waves.

Study transitions. Processing one transition and learning good coping strategies builds resilience and helps you handle the next one, and the next one. Learn to ride the waves to fun and happiness!

Resource Box:

Susan Dunn, M.A., is a professional coach who helps her clients navigate rough waters. She is the author of “Resilience”. Visit her on the web at www.susandunn.cc.

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