May 16 2008
Attracting the Significant Other
Millions of people are apparently seeking a significant other. I read that online dating is very much in style. If you are one such seeker, I hope your search is due to positive reasoning. Coming from someone who has been married to the same man since 1983, I can guarantee you that loneliness will not disappear, self-esteem will not increase, and happiness will not be attained because you have a partner. In other words: Put effort into being happy, self-respectful, and a significant companion. When you are a significant other, a significant partner for a relationship that lasts through the monotony and pandemonium of this human world is attracted to you.
There is an order to everything meaningful, including relationships. Not that a tile floor is as meaningful as a relationship, but if I wanted a tile floor, I first need to prepare the floor with a proper backing, then ready the tiles, apply adhesive, and carefully set the tiles in place. This order involves preparation, foresight, and a willingness to work calmly.
Preparing oneself for a significant other requires you to be a significant other. Do not assume that what you want out of a relationship is what your mate wants. Not to be too brash, but if you would like intimacy from your significant other, be aware that your companion may desire someone they can read out loud a good book with. Will you read out loud with tenderness, patience and satisfaction?
One of you may need encouragement in a new career direction. One of you may need the other to have a great sense of humor. One of you may need the garbage hauled away without being asked. What do you have to offer? The idea of offering is significant. Have a little foresight; be aware of what you have to offer as the significant other for someone else.
It is backward; it is laying the tile before the adhesive, to seek another person from the standpoint they will fill a void. People don’t necessarily fill someone else’s void, more so people love one another so a void doesn’t materialize. The adhesive for a strong relationship is being a dependable friend, being respectful, and happy. These spiritual qualities must be found within both of you, even in a degree, before a relationship can be solid. Your real attractiveness is your ability to love, laugh, be faithful, learn and act on something new each day. This is no simple task. My husband and I know how demanding it can be, to be the significant other. We need to continue to calmly practice it each day.
Now comes the oxymoron. Don’t attempt to be the significant other too much. No one person is more important than the other in a relationship. If a partner has a prominent title or high ranking position, penetrate this temporal façade, do not become a servant to it, do not rely on it. This goes for both individuals. It is right to support a partner, but no one should neglect advancing their own significance to help in this world.
When considering a relationship, remember too, there is nothing wrong with what we call a physical attraction, wellbeing, or a steady financial situation, but these change. Attractive physical circumstances are short-term and often create an agitation that distracts our inherent ability to be better companions each day. Partners work together on a long-term basis when both are honest and spiritually courageous.
Being a significant other is attractive. It begins simply. An excellent starting point is to offer your friendship, respect, and happiness to siblings, the grocery clerk, co-workers, and neighbors. As your attractiveness is kept pure, without tempting gross self-gratification, you will develop an awareness that naturally attracts the like-minded.
Every individual has a place in history and significance. It is very possible to make a positive impact; to be constructive and encouraging. Think about your contribution to our world, improve on it, love it and feel your fullness, whether you are single or have a partner. Be the significant other.
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